Needles & Pens

Hearts & Anchors has cards being sold at Needles & Pens in the Mission (they're on 16th near Guerrero)! Breezy, the owner, found me at the last Bazaar Bizarre fair and she is super great to work with. Anywho, the store has tons of great zines, local hand-made goods galore, and a wonderful selection of screenprints/wall art. Feel free to pay them a visit soon!

Recipe for Hard Tack

'Tis widely known o'er land and sea alike that hardtack has the gold medal for knocking out the most teeth whilst somehow remaining totally bland and unassuming. Kind of like a hippopotamus.

For anyone unaware as to the story of hardtack: It's a biscuit/cracker that was widely used by sailors, soldiers and gold diggers for sustenance during the 1800's. The biscuits were so dry and hard that they remained edible (if you can call it that) for the duration of lengthy sea voyages and the entire Civil War. Imagine an impenetrable Saltine. It's quite likely that if you miraculously stumbled across a bit of ancient hardtack today, it would taste just the same as it did in 1865! Yum. But, it's more likely that these sea biscuits simply outlasted the lingering memories of sweethearts left behind. Thus, they held a very special place in both a sailor's heart AND stomach.

Synonyms include, but are certainly not limited to: ship's biscuits, water crackers, tooth dullers, molar breakers, pilot bread, sea bread and, my personal favorite, worm castles. Seeing as hardtack was often improperly stored for years and even decades, I'll let you use your imagination as to the origin of this last one.

HARDTACK

• 2 cups of flour
• ¾ cup water
• 5 pinches of salt
  

1. Preheat oven to 400°F
2. Mix all ingredients to create a dough
3. Roll or press out dough onto a baking/cookie sheet (thickness should be ½ inch)
4. Using a fork, poke neat little rows of holes into dough
   
5. Bake in oven 1 hour, then remove from oven
6. Cut dough into 3-inch square crackers (or use a cookie cutter to make round ones), flip them over on the baking sheet, and repeat the the poking of holes
   
7. Bake in oven for another ½ hour
8. If you're feeling like you'll want these to last for a really long time, feel free to bake them for an additional hour at 250°

If you've baked your hardtack correctly, it should be pretty darn uncomfortable to take a bite. So dunk it in coffee, brine, whisky, or anything else that's handy to soften it up.

Store away from buggies for a few months or a few years.